Anyway I felt like the past couple of days despite my quiet time that I was just really far from God. Perhaps my quiet times are just revealing a void that was already there or perhaps I have not been open to what he was saying. I have been ardently praying the last few days as my small group leader's mom is in the hospital with a brain tumor. However, I do not think I have doing very much listening.
I finished today's study of Genesis- a general overview of the themes in what I have been learning. I just did not feel the voice of God. So before I did my readings from John that are part of the study we've been asked to do to prepare for Camp Whatever (youth camp) I asked that God speak to me. I wanted to be open to what he had to say. Answer BOOM! Like a flood of information God reached out and smacked me upside the head!
Here's what I read (lengthy but you'll need to read it to get what comes next)...
The next day Jesus decided to go to Galilee. He found Philip and said to him, "Follow me." Now Philip was from Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter. Philip found Nathanael and said to him, "We have found him of whom Moses in the Law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph." Nathanael said to him, "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" Phillip said to him, "Come and see." Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, "Behold an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no deceit!" Nathanael said to him, "How do you know of me?" Jesus answered him, "Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you." Nathanael answered him, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!" Jesus answered him, "Because I said to you, 'I saw you under the fig tree,' do you believe? You will see greater things than these." And he said to him, "Truly, Truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man." John 1: 43-51 (ESV)The first thing I noticed was this. Jesus called Philip and he believed. What was Philip's response? He went and told Nathanael. From the way, I read the passage Philip knew Nathanael prior to this. Though it is not stated, I feel like Nathanael is a good friend of Philip's. Obviously, Philip wanted to share with Nathanael this important news.
However, Nathanael was incredulous, but curious. He heard what Philip had to say and went to see Jesus at his friend's request. He required more convincing. Even before the two men make it to Jesus, He reveals himself in a way that proves beyond a doubt to Nathanael that he is the Son of God.
What can I take away from this story that will help me?
- Good friends share the message of Christ with their friends
- Jesus will reveal himself. You just got to share your story.
I distinctly got the impression that God was saying, "Dixie, what's the problem?"
He likes to let me figure these things out on my own. You see my best friend is not a Christian. To get you to understand how I feel about this friend let me refer you to a friendship found in the Bible.
As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. I Samuel 18:1 (ESV)I feel like my soul is knit to hers. I love her as my own soul. Unfortunately, I've not been demonstrating that.
You see if I love her that much, I believe that there is everlasting life, and that to not having a relationship with God condemns you to hell, and I choose not to tell her about the Savior who died to free her from that fate....well, frankly, I suck as a friend. Not mention I must not think too highly of my own soul.
So God is trying to tell me...you tell her about me...and I'll reveal myself to her.
Now maybe she reads this and maybe she doesn't....I don't really know for sure. If she does, she knows who she is and I'm sorry for sucking as a friend. And I have... I haven't said too much about God, because I was afraid I would loose you (which frankly would rip a chunk out of my chest which I would never get back). Now, I know if I don't tell you about God that you are already lost in the long run. As much as I know God will wipe away my tears in an eternity without you, I'd rather have you there with me! So don't be surprised if I start bringing up God in conversation (don't worry he's going to provide me the opportunity)...I love you as my own soul so how can I do anything less.